em – that’s alright, you’ve got our attention
A measure of font size equal to the width of the letter ‘m’. Now who thought of that one? Half that unit of measure is an ‘en’. Worked it out yet?

EXE file – making loads of money for the chaps selling anti-viral protection.
This three letter file extension tells you that the file contains a program enabling the file to be run directly by your computer’s operating system. We use them a lot to do many good things. However so do hackers and subversives who want to infect us all with bad things like viruses and worms and other wriggly things that scurry the night. Also known as an executable, which the latter certainly should be.

Extent – on the campsite tip
The number of pages in a printed publication.

Fade – which I’m doing fast
One for our visual effects guys to dazzle us with. A fade-in is an image that starts with a blank screen and then gradually shows the image. A fade-out . . . I think you’ve probably sussed that one.

Family Life Cycle – measuring just how very old you’re getting
Marketers have identified the six ages of the family. I’ll tell you my number, if you tell me yours.
1 Young single couple
2 Young couples with no children
3 Young couples with their youngest child under six
4 Couples with dependent children
5 Older couples with no children at home
6 Older single people

Fart box – couldn't resist including this one
Old slang in the early days of printing automation to describe a device that transferred data from one computer to another. Yes, seriously. Also called a milking machine. Oh, how sensibly straightforward everything was in the good old days.

Field – one for the welly brigade
Could have cows in it but would seriously mess up your data capture.

Floppy – but hard really
Could someone please explain the logic behind continuing to describe this old method of storing data using a hard disk encased in hard plastic. The original ones were indeed floppy . . . but now I'm giving my age away.

fps – making fools of us all
Run individual images past us at speed and the brain enthusiastically tells us they’re all moving, when it’s perfectly plain they’re not. Now how subversive is that? TV in the UK hits us at 25 Frames Per Second. If only they could speed the soaps up . . .

Friend-of-a-friend – the words a doctor dreads hearing at a party
In marketing refers to the respondent who has been referred to the company by, well err, a friend. Gold dust.

Fulfilment – at which point you smoke a cigarette . . .
. . . or at least in the unhealthier days of yore. The supplying of goods or services ordered by a customer